I Don't Know Why...
Sometimes I think that I don't belong here
I mean as in not belonging in this kind of population
I feel like people come to me when they want or need something
I overthink about things I shouldn't even overthink about
Or that I'm too mean or agressive to people without me knowing about it
At times I try to stop being so negative and sometimes it works
but then I forget about being positive and sh*t and i completely loose it
Sometimes I can't handle my sh*t no more
I feel like Ima explode if i keep up with this crap
I have a feeling i won't be alive for so long
And I know everyone says i shouldn't say that to myself
but i can't just fake a smile and pretend like everything is okay
when i know and others know that I'm not fine
Faking and lying that "I'm fine" is not gonna work anymore
i'm not used to crying infront of people cuz i feel like they think i'm begging for attention
or that i'm too weak and stupid to handle stuff by myself
But i mean i gotta let my tears and pain out someday right?
I can't just lie to people that "I'm fine" you feel me?
But oh well it's not like it matters anymore
i don't really care anymore tbh